Chapter eight in which deda Anton achieves the notoriety he so richly deserves     The following article appeared on page 3 of the Ro ž nov Cabbage Growers Quarterly Gazette four days after deda solved his storage problem. INVALID STEALS RUBBISH BINS   A sixty-seven year old man is to appear at the District Court in Ro ž nov tomorrow on charges relating  to the unlawful removal and possession of the city council waste containers. Yesterday morning, police,  acting on a tip-off, followed A. Dribbler, a well-known local greengrocer and member of several  prominent citizen committees, to an undisclosed location where he was apprehended in the act of  misappropriating a large number of waste disposal units. Caught red-handed, Dribbler nevertheless  attempted to flee and a struggle ensued during which one police officer sustained an injury to his  buttock while another tore a hat, and a police van was damaged when a side mirror shattered....

  As expected, there were interminable discussions around the table on the Virtues of Capitalism. The kids  were turned out of the room when these began because Mother was afraid the kids would blab at school.  Appreciating the gravity of the occasion, we loitered outside the door in the hope of catching a few words  of treason but heard nothing worth repeating. There was a lot of shushing and hushing going on as  Mother took every precaution. The family, you see, had got into trouble once before.      Just a few months ago, Pavel came home from school with a note requesting an interview with Mother  and Dad at the comrade principal’s office. They were a bit puzzled; it was Pavel’s first year of school and  he was doing all right, and what with his quiet nature and all they couldn’t make sense of it, but of course,  they went. The interview started well enough, Pavel was a clever boy, no problem there. However, when  asked...

Chapter six in which the family history of defecting to the ‘Other Side’ is revealed, and Mother and Dad get in trouble with the school principal  Well then. Following the unexpected departure of Uncle Stan, a period of relative calm reigned in the Zhvuk household for exactly twenty-eight days until a new disaster struck. Babka Zlatka and deda Anton moved in.      ‘Only while things simmer down, a few weeks really,’ deda was at pains to explain but if the number of  suitcases were anything to go by, they meant to stay a while.      ‘The shame of it!’ babka moaned, clutching at her temples; it was enough to kill a horse.      Well, of course, there had been a teensy weensy misunderstanding, and, of course, it was all deda’s fault  but did he own up? Hardly. As usual, he blamed Uncle Bob.       Uncle Bob, deda’s youngest brother originally known as Bobesh Dribbler, began his rise to fame in...