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Chapter nine

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  Chapter nine in which Uncle Stan’s defection leads to unlooked-for popularity ... Uncle Stan called. Had a bit of luck and was all keyed up to tell us about it so Mother got everyone together to hear the news. As usual, Mother was in charge of the phone, standing by to interpret Uncle Stan’s words to us by means of grimacing, gesturing and eloquently lifting her eyebrows. She had sound effects too, so it was with a great deal of pleasure that we anticipated Uncle Stan’s fortnightly call.      The show started with a lot of grinning when Uncle Stan announced that he was out of the refugee camp  and that he found a cleaning job. Mother, mindful of who might be listening, acknowledged the news by  grunting noncommittally into the receiver. (To us she gave the thumbs up gesture and mouthed the word job.)  Encouraged by this show of support, Uncle Stan revealed that he’d managed to rent a room somewhere  reasonable and that his German language...

Chapter six

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Chapter six in which the family history of defecting to the ‘Other Side’ is revealed, and Mother and Dad get in trouble with the school principal  Well then. Following the unexpected departure of Uncle Stan, a period of relative calm reigned in the Zhvuk household for exactly twenty-eight days until a new disaster struck. Babka Zlatka and deda Anton moved in.      ‘Only while things simmer down, a few weeks really,’ deda was at pains to explain but if the number of  suitcases were anything to go by, they meant to stay a while.      ‘The shame of it!’ babka moaned, clutching at her temples; it was enough to kill a horse.      Well, of course, there had been a teensy weensy misunderstanding, and, of course, it was all deda’s fault  but did he own up? Hardly. As usual, he blamed Uncle Bob.       Uncle Bob, deda’s youngest brother originally known as Bobesh Dribbler, began his rise to fame ...