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Chapter nine

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  Chapter nine in which Uncle Stan’s defection leads to unlooked-for popularity ... Uncle Stan called. Had a bit of luck and was all keyed up to tell us about it so Mother got everyone together to hear the news. As usual, Mother was in charge of the phone, standing by to interpret Uncle Stan’s words to us by means of grimacing, gesturing and eloquently lifting her eyebrows. She had sound effects too, so it was with a great deal of pleasure that we anticipated Uncle Stan’s fortnightly call.      The show started with a lot of grinning when Uncle Stan announced that he was out of the refugee camp  and that he found a cleaning job. Mother, mindful of who might be listening, acknowledged the news by  grunting noncommittally into the receiver. (To us she gave the thumbs up gesture and mouthed the word job.)  Encouraged by this show of support, Uncle Stan revealed that he’d managed to rent a room somewhere  reasonable and that his German language...
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Chapter three

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  September came and with it the start of a new school year. As usual, Vendula hung out with her honorary  cousin Alice. The kinship, like their relationship, was defined by its very tenuity. The girls’ family ties  dated back to the golden days of the Austro-Hungarian Empire when Alice’s gr-gr-greatgrandad and  Vendula’s gr-gr-greatgrandad had been village idiots together, their combined intellect employed to keep  the geese off the village green. The girls’ relationship worked along similar lines.      In the mornings the girls walked to school together and in the afternoons they walked back home.  On the way Alice talked and Vendula listened. Frankly, it wasn’t much fun. Alice, a short fat lump  of a girl with a horsey face, was conceited and a bit of a bully. She constantly talked about herself; her  hair, her face, her make-up, the boys who liked her and the ones she liked, and she also talked about  her clothes. Ve...
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Chapter three

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Chapter three in which Uncle Stan’s foreign correspondence comes under scrutiny, and Cousin Alice ends up writhing on the tiles   Predictably, after the festivities died down, things turned a bit more serious. Before the week was out, Mother and Dad and the old folk had some interviews at the police station regarding Uncle Stan’s departure. As customary in those circumstances, everyone was  just  devastated.      ‘We’d never have guessed he could do such a thing!’ Mother, suitably appalled at Uncle Stan’s behaviour,  clutched her head theatrically for the benefit of the interrogators. Bemoaning Uncle Stan’s weak moral fiber,  Mother declared his conduct at odds with the strong communist tradition we’ve apparently nurtured .      ‘Utterly incomprehensible!’   Mother wailed, proposing diminished mental capacity and citing numerous  cases of it in the family. At this point, babka Zlatka, bless 'er,  inadverte...
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