Chapter eight

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 Chapter eight in which deda Anton achieves the notoriety he so richly deserves

  The following article appeared on page 3 of the Rožnov Cabbage Growers Quarterly Gazette four days after deda solved his storage problem.

INVALID STEALS RUBBISH BINS 


A sixty-seven year old man is to appear at the District Court in Rožnov tomorrow on charges relating 

to the unlawful removal and possession of the city council waste containers. Yesterday morning, police, 

acting on a tip-off, followed A. Dribbler, a well-known local greengrocer and member of several 

prominent citizen committees, to an undisclosed location where he was apprehended in the act of 

misappropriating a large number of waste disposal units. Caught red-handed, Dribbler nevertheless 

attempted to flee and a struggle ensued during which one police officer sustained an injury to his 

buttock while another tore a hat, and a police van was damaged when a side mirror shattered. 

The scuffle ended after Dribbler was tackled to the ground at which point he surrendered to police 

custody. The alleged offender was then taken to the police station where he was charged with theft, 

battery, destruction of personal property and assault of a police vehicle.

     Dribbler, a repeat offender with a history of similar offences, eventually broke down under 

investigation and confessed to his crimes. With regards to the charge of theft, police suspect 

an accomplice was involved, a claim vehemently denied by the alleged offender who maintained 

he alone stole all seventeen containers which he single-handedly carried across town and deposited 

in the cellar of the family home where the bins were found earlier this week. Although police 

doubt the validity of his statement, citing Dribbler is an overweight arthritic cripple in poor physical 

condition, the confession has been forwarded to social services where Dribbler’s entitlement to partial 

disability benefits is now under review, an insider says, with further charges expected to be laid. Bail was 

set at 500 crowns.


    Yes, it was enough to kill a horse. Many a discussion erupted from the dining room alcove where babka 

and deda set up camp on the trundle, many a time the RCGQG (Rožnov Cabbage Growers Quarterly Gazette) 

rolled up and with it deda’s ears boxed as he swore that never again would he look for Opportunity. Backed by 

experience, babka gave him a proper what for.  

     In due course, deda had his day in court. It wasn’t as grand an appearance as he had hoped; there was no 

media present and the whole thing took fifteen minutes from start to finish, with both the lawyers and the 

judge looking barely alive. Even the sentence was nothing to write home about; deda was let off with 

a community service and a small fine. Naturally, deda was disappointed with the lame outcome and vowed 

to do better next time, but babka breathed a sigh of relief; now that the affair was laid to rest, she dared show 

her face around the neighbourhood once again.   




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